2003-10-13 - 11:08 a.m.
This saturday I was greated with one of the best suprises of my life. Upon entering my friend's apartment on the way to what was supposed ot be my going away party at the bar, there in front of me stood a large group of my past and current friends. I was deeply moved, it was one of the nicest jestures i have ever had.
To get to say hello and goodbye to so many of my friends felt good, I was just too happy.
Ahhh but with great happiness comes great sorrow.
The next day I was depressed, this task before me is getting harder and harder to fulfill, it is what I want but I do have by second thoughts. I sat there sunday looking over the events of the night before and realizing that that was goodbye. That many of those people I will never see again and that was hard to take. My leaving finially hit me fully and I was sad. Time seems to be speeding up for me, I am in a current drawing me out to sea.
I now see why the peace corps takes their time with everything, they want the doubts to creep in, this way if you are not sure about it you will leave before even getting over there.
Ahhh these are the tasks so much better for youth. The young have the ability to think that life is eternal and the momment is all that matters, I am trying to regain that feeling by taking myself out of the system. Away from our culture that defines people not by character but by income.
So now I am a more reflective soul. I can feel my bonds slowly getting cut away, one by one the strings fall to the ground. soon I will be alone, I wonder if this marionette will walk.
only time will tell.
so to all of you who I saw saturday thank you for being there and making me feel more important then I deserve.
you are all wonderful people.
